UCMJ Article 15

"With boredom comes stupidity, especially when you are a young twenty-two year old Airman 1st Class."

About 1980

An Article 15 in the military can be a harsh punishment for bad deeds done. It may result in loss of wages, rank and maybe jail time. Well luckily, I avoided the Article 15 because I was never caught for the stupidity I did which I’m about to reveal.

I was a United States Air Force Security Policeman stationed at Elmendorf AFB, Alaska. This was the early 1980’s during the cold war with the Soviet Union being our closet neighbor beside Canada. This particular afternoon I was assigned to guard the Weapons Storage Area (WSA). It was actually a good assignment because it was remote and you rarely got bothered by people, ie. supervisor. Of course, moose and bear are a different story- which I will tell at a later time.

You had the beautiful Alaskan country side all around you with the Cook Inlet to the west. Thousands of trees full of wild life with the smell and noise of a forest. It was rather peaceful out there and a good place to gather your thoughts.

But, I was bored- very bored. With boredom comes stupidity, especially when you are a young twenty-two year old Airman 1st Class. The WSA was a large area with miles of roads that went in circles around the area. As I drove I day dreamed. As I day dreamed I schemed. As I schemed, I acted.

This was my idea. I was driving a pick up truck which could easily idol at about ten to fifteen miles per hour. I thought, “Wouldn’t it be cool to drive while laying on top of the truck and then get back in through the passenger window”. Well, it sounded cool at the time.

So at idol speed, I climbed out the drivers window and got on top of the truck. I laid on top for a long time steering the truck with my left hand around curves and up and down hills. It was fun for a while but I thought I should end this. I got on a straight away and straightened the truck out, scrambled to the passenger side and climbed through the window.

Yahoo! That was cool! I think I’ll do it again. Well... never tempt fate. This time it didn’t go so smooth and I ended up running beside my truck trying to keep it out of the ditch as I’m half way in the ditch. Dirt and grass is flying all around me kicked up by the wheels of the truck and my scrambling feet. My heart is tacacardic and my legs are spinning like Jesse Owens. I managed to steer the truck back on to the gravel road and open the door to jump back inside, save the truck from getting stuck or worse, tipping.

Oh, the stupidity of youth. Thing is, evidently I was not the last to try this because another airman tipped a jeep later that year in the same area. What an idiot.